♫ bold music ♫
MAGGIE: My name is Maggie Winston,
and I'm from Kenai, Alaska.
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I really wanted to be a mom.
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I was told "No", I was told that ...
Essentially I'm too disabled to be a parent.
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♫ gentle music ♫
Damon and Dylan were born May 21st, 2004.
I was 20.
I just kind of really liked settling into this -
"Mommy" routine.
Their first birthday was a normal day,
we had a big party planned
with all of our family and friends.
I felt this increasingly intense pain
in between my shoulder blades.
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I called my mom and she said,
"You just need to go to the hospital,
"let's just get it checked out."
About 20 minutes later, after I had called her,
I needed to be carried to her vehicle
because I couldn't move my legs anymore.
I was diagnosed with what is called
idiopathic transverse myelitis.
It means I have no functional use
of my arms or my legs.
So I require 24 hour care.
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I have an amazing staff
of six or seven girls that are my best friends,
that stay with me in eight hour shifts,
so we never get sick of each other (laughing)
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After spinal cord injury, me and my kids' father
didn't stay together very long.
We were not meant to be,
we were not right for each other and not happy,
and initially we were sharing the boys.
And he became increasingly uncomfortable
with the fact that I need caregivers,
and that I need family support to help with the boys.
When they became school age,
in his mind, it made more sense
for them to stay with him during the week,
and so I would have them on the weekends.
Which was just not enough time.
Just not enough time at all.
I wanted equal access to my children,
and I was told "No."
I filed custody papers and started the process.
At the same time all of this was going on,
my care company was saying that it was illegal
for my PCAs, or my caregivers,
to provide any sort of support to my children
while they were legally responsible
to provide support to me.
I don't need anyone to spank my children.
I don't need anyone to direct them or ground them
or tell them when to do their homework.
I need someone to do their laundry,
and help me wash their dishes
and help me make them dinner
and pack their school lunches.
People, I just can't move my arms and my legs
it's like, really not that big a deal.
♫ soft rock music ♫
I initiated a meeting between
the executive director of the care company,
my care coordinator, my case manager,
and got affidavits from
every single one of my care givers
that said that they would love to help me be a mom.
Eventually, they just stopped pushing back.
I feel like maybe they just started to see the human side.
If you show your face enough,
if you fight enough,
they're going to have to see the human.
[birds chirp]
So any time you file papers for custody
in the state of Alaska, it offers a future court date
to be able to determine whatever is comfortable
for both parents, or whatever either one is fighting for.
I wanted more days with the boys, I wanted more time,
and so we had several little court dates,
and then one big one.
We initially had a 70/30 split,
with the promise of going to mediation in a year
to rediscuss 50/50 legal and physical.
And a year later, we did that.
I got equal access to my children.
♫ bold music ♫
I'm a disability advocate now,
employed through our local
Center for Independent Living.
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I get to help people with disabilities
advocate for themselves
and to get the things that they need
to live independently.
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My message to people watching would be
to not accept "No" for an answer.
If you want something, you can have it.
You might just have to fight really hard for it,
and that's okay.
And it's really hard, and it sucks sometimes,
and it's still okay.
Not only okay, but it's necessary.
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